In an offseason full of surprises on One Bills Drive, here comes another one: The Bills are in close talks with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in acquiring the first overall pick in a trade that would send Mario Williams to Tampa Bay, along with Rex Ryan’s personal supply of buffalo wings.
Though it is uncertain why the Bills would give up such high value since there are no better wings around the country, this proves again that Ryan is willing to secure victory by any means possible in this 2015 season.
"“I’m willing to do whatever it takes to win this incredible city of Buffalo a championship. If it means giving up what I love near and dear to my heart, then so be it. I’m here to win. It will be tough, but I think I can manage.”"
Ryan also indicated that the first pick would likely be used to secure former Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, solving the problem at the quarterback position that the Bills have been lacking since Jameis was a baby. Winston, however, isn’t so thrilled to be heading to Buffalo.
"“Ain’t no way I’m headin to Buffalo! There’s nothing to do and it’s too cold man. Where am I gettin my free crab legs now?” – @Jaboowins"
The Bills have already made splashes in this offseason, trading a newly-born comic book hero to the City of Brotherly Love for a guy only known as “Shady.” However, it is unclear why he got that nickname.
Bills fans are hopeful that, if both players are acquired, they could work together to prove to be a dynamic QB/RB duo. But first, somebody might want to tell Jameis where to park his bicycle at the stadium so that he doesn’t get lost.
FOX Sport’s Jay Glazer was the first to report the news:
"“Bills close to acquiring top pick from Buccaneers, finally proving that the tanking does not work in the NFL. Sorry NBA/NHL, but we’re just too good for that” – @JayGlazer"
Adam Schefter rebuttled the reports, but Glazer was quick to respond:
"“Try getting out from in front of that bookshelf once in awhile. Works wonders lemme tell ya” – @JayGlazer"
Now, for those of you who have been die hards since day one like me, it is great to finally see that the Bills have found a competent starting quarterback. Except, it’s not Jameis Winston. It’s two-time playoff QB Matt Cassel. Happy April Fools Day everybody. Now read some real news on what Buffalo should do in the draft by clicking below.