Patriots vs. Broncos: Why You Should Root For the Broncos (Even If You Hate Tim Tebow)

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I know, I know…it seems like an impossible choice.

In tonight’s AFC Divisional game, who should you root for?

On one side, you have the absolutely loathsome New England Patriots. That contemptible bunch of cheaters (let’s not ever forget Spygate) led by their pretty-boy quarterback and miserable prick of a coach. And don’t forget their racist douchebag frontrunning fans (Note: I know not all Boston fans are racists. Or douchebags. But it’s fun to generalize.)

And the other side, you have Tim Tebow and the Broncos. But according to the media, it’s just TIM TEBOW! What a leader! He’s just a winner! What a great guy! 

So as neutral fans, who the heck do we root for?

It’s the Broncos. No question. Here’s why:

Look, I get that you want Tebow to go away. It makes perfect sense. I’m tired of hearing about him too. It’s obnoxious that he gets all the credit when the Broncos win 13-10 and the defense does 99% of the work. The endless media praise gets old. I won’t touch on the whole political/religious thing, but I can believe that Tebow’s very vocal show of his beliefs might rub you the wrong way.

And of course, Skip Bayless likes him, which is reason alone to root against Tebow.

But, come on, aren’t the Patriots a million times worse?

Whatever you think about Tebow, at least he’s not a hypocrite. He’s exactly what he says he is. I have no doubt he’s 100% genuine. It’s not his fault the media won’t stop talking about him. He’s just trying to play quarterback.

The Patriots are a disgusting, vile plague. Spygate was a disgrace. They easily have the most obnoxious fanbase this side of the Steelers. The team just exudes a level of smugness that is ridiculous for a team that hasn’t won a Super Bowl in seven years.

I hate them so much.

And that’s why it would be GLORIOUS to see them lose ANOTHER home playoff game. Especially as 14-point favorites. ESPECIALLY to a quarterback that can’t throw. Seeing sad Tom Brady again would make my soul smile. Bill Belichick’s bitter post-game press conference would put a bounce in my step for months.

And that’d be well worth one more week of Tebow-mania.

(To those Patriots who would say “You’re just jealous!” OF COURSE I’m jealous. Why wouldn’t I be?)