Let’s be real: a lot of people love football because it’s the easiest and funnest sport to gamble on. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Personally, I’m too broke to gamble much, but I sure do watch a lot of football. I figure I should help* my loyal readers out with some gambling advice. Each week I’ll pick four games plus a fifth “Lock of the Week.”
*Help not guaranteed to be actually helpful.
There’s nothing like being totally and absolutely wrong.
The problem with doing a column like this is that it invites looking really stupid from time to time. When you’re asked to make bold predictions, you sometimes make statements that are pretty dumb in retrospect. Like this one I made in last week’s picks:
“Packers (-14) over CHIEFS
I do think the Packers will lose before this season is over. It will absolutely not be this week. If the Chiefs keep any of their last three games closer than 20 points, I’ll be shocked.”
Well, we know how that one turned out. Damn Packers.
And I don’t even want to talk about my pick in the Bills game. Damn Dolphins.
But, each week’s a new week and a new chance to make an ass of myself. Here we go:
Eagles (+1.5) over COWBOYS
Love this pick. The Eagles’ bizarre late-season surge (which started after they totally no-showed a game in Seattle) has been fun. I would love to see them sneak into the playoffs, where they would be a total pain in the ass to eliminate if Vick is healthy. I’m not sure they would win a game in Green Bay, but I’m sure the Packers would not be thrilled to see them coming.
SEAHAWKS (+2) over 49ers
Let-down game for the Niners, who are coming off that awesome showing against the Steelers. The ‘Hawks are no joke and and peaking at the right time. Too bad for Seattle they gave away too many games early – including that hideous 6-3 loss in Cleveland.
Chargers (+2.5) over LIONS
Time for the patented San Diego late-season charge. Too bad it’ll likely be too little, too late for the Chargers’ playoff hopes. By the way, the Lions losing a road playoff game by 40 wouldn’t shock me.
CHIEFS (-2.5) over Raiders
Sorry for doubting you guys last week, Chiefs. I really should have considered the possibility that Todd Haley was such a colossal douchebag that he held the Chiefs down all year. Romeo Crennel might not be a great head coach, but he’s certainly no douchebag.
*Note: don’t take the word “Lock” too seriously.
PANTHERS (-6.5) over Buccaneers
The Panthers are giving less than a touchdown here? Me likey. If you haven’t noticed, the Panthers have been very good lately. The Bucs have collapsed even worse than the Bills. This one could get UGLY.
Last Week: 3-2
Lock of the Week: 9-6