Why The Saints Will Win Super Bowl XLIV

It’s simple really – a logic proof that would make Aristotle proud. The New Orleans Saints beat the Bills 7 – 27 in Week 3 and the Bills beat the Indianapolis Colts 30 – 7 in Week 17. Ipso facto, the Saints will beat the Colts. Forget the Vegas lines, forget the fact that Peyton Manning has a Super Bowl ring, forget the fact that the Saints have never been here before … this is science people. Cold, hard science. It doesn’t get more objective than this. And don’t bother commenting on this telling me my logic is flawed – you’re flawed. I don’t want to hear it. Not a word.

Now that I’ve proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the Saints will win, allow me to list a few reasons why – as Bills fans – we WANT New Orleans to win:

  1. If the Saints win there will only be 13 other teams in the NFL that haven’t won a Super Bowl, not including Buffalo. My thinking is the fewer teams that haven’t won, the more pity other teams in the league will have on the Bills. The more pity other teams have on us, the more likely they are to throw a few wins our direction. Again, science. Just trust it.
  2. Perhaps when Brees beats Manning he will take over some of Peyton’s ad spots – possibly the number one reason to root for New Orleans.
  3. You have to feel for a city that has weather worse than ours.
  4. Did I mention already how obnoxious Peyton Manning is?
  5. What does Indianapolis do for this country? I mean really, have you been to Indianapolis? At least New Orleans gave us Mardi Gras and Southern Comfort.
  6. Jeremy Shockey is a stand-up individual, a real class-act, you have to feel for him. Right?
  7. If you don’t hate the Mannings – you will by the end of this game. I promise. Over-under on the number of times one of the announcers kisses the ass of a Manning versus number of total points scored? That’s actually a really good question.

In all seriousness though, good luck to both teams tonight. Here’s to a great game that doesn’t disappoint and comes right down to the wire. And Bills fans, don’t despair. Just enjoy the fact that our team isn’t here. Enjoy the fact that because who knows when (if ever) we will ever get back here,  our lives are that much more stress free, our ulcers are that much smaller, and our hair is that much thicker. Happy Super Bowl Sunday.

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